Moccasin Gap/April 2012

Moccasin Gap – April 2012
By Brad (BC) Carver
Howdy from Moccasin Gap. Well, here it is April already. Where did winter go? It was seventy-degrees in February. You know what this means, don’t you? Al Gore was right. Aaaaaggggghhhhhh!!!! Now it’s April, spring time is in the air. We can get out and play more and do more outside. There’s Thelma Earl watering her flowers, Elbert Caldwell is planting his garden, things are looking pretty good ‘round here. High School baseball season is in full swing and folks ‘round here are buzzing with excitement – buzzing that comes from a jug from Cousin Clyde’s still.

Warm weather and moonshine just seem to go together, nothing better than hittin’ the jug on a warm, sunny day. Besides, April is Alcohol Awareness Month. Folks in Moccasin Gap are definitely aware of alcohol, and we’re aware that government alcohol is way more dangerous than Cousin Clyde’s Shine.

And it’s Stress Month, what better way to get rid of stress than with a swig o’shine? Of course April is also National Grass Month which reminds me, I have to see Cousin Clyde’s wife, the lady with the green thumb, but that’s another story.

Of course all good things don’t happen in April. There is some serious stuff too - National Sexually Transmitted Diseases Education and Awareness Month. And if you drink too much shines and do too much grass you could easily get STD’s. That’s why April is also National VD Month.

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month. You can avoid that by first avoiding alcohol. Do you see how it all comes together in April? April is the Come Together Month.

We’re on Daylight Savings Time now, so we have more time to come together. Our wonderful government gave us Daylight Savings time. Only the government would think if you cut off a foot at the top of the blanket and sew it to the bottom you would get a longer blanket.

In case you haven’t figured it out yet, I really don’t have anything to write about this month, I’m just rambling on about stuff we celebrate in April. My mind is blank right now, can’t think of nary a thing. Maybe it’s because it’s Grass Month, I don’t know. I have come to the conclusion that my brain has a mind of its own. It does things and doesn’t tell me. It leaves me and never tells me where it going or when it’s coming back. My girlfriend says I’ve lost my mind now, but I haven’t. I know exactly where it is, and it isn’t with me – it’s in a shoe box in her closet.

I’ll leave you with this little thought about the human brain: The human brain is like a piñata, when it breaks open there are lots of surprises inside. Once you get the piñata perspective – you will see that losing your mind – can be a peak experience. It all comes together.
Here’s to losing your mind.

Brad (BC) Carver is a professional speaker/author. comedyofbc@aol.com 336-504-5839